Who actually buys: clients, decision makers and influencers

The person who fills in your inquiry form is rarely the only one deciding. Learn the six roles in an event purchase, map them for weddings, family celebrations and corporate events, and shape your marketing so it reaches the person who can actually say yes.

Read the transcript

Who actually buys: clients, decision makers and influencers.

A bride fills in your form.

Her mother pays the deposit.

The six roles in a buying decision.

Marketers describe group purchases using a set of roles, sometimes called the buying centre.

One person can play several roles, and a role can be shared.

How the roles look by event type.

The couple usually initiate and decide, but money changes the picture.

When parents contribute a large share, they often become joint deciders, even if nobody says so.

Worked example: one inquiry, five people.

Lantern and Lane received this inquiry: “Hi, my fiancé and I are getting married next September, about 180 guests, Hindu ceremony in the morning and a reception that evening.

Can you send pricing?”

Finding the roles without being awkward.

You cannot ask a couple to fill in an organization chart.

You can ask natural questions early, and write the answers in your notes.

Marketing to roles, not just to people.

Once you see the roles, your marketing changes beyond the single inquiry.

Influencers need proof in places they look: a parent may read Google reviews and Facebook, while a couple scrolls Instagram.

That is the lesson. The worksheet and the quiz are just below this video.

What you will be able to do

• Name the six roles in an event buying decision and spot each one in a real inquiry
• Map the payer, decision maker and influencers for your two main client types
• Adapt your replies, proposals and proof so that each role gets the information it needs

A bride fills in your form. Her mother pays the deposit. Her fiancé’s aunt has strong views on the caterer. The venue coordinator mentioned three planners, and you were the second name. Who is your client? All of them, in different ways. Event purchases are almost always group decisions, and a vendor who markets only to the person who sent the email is selling to a fraction of the room.

The six roles in a buying decision

Marketers describe group purchases using a set of roles, sometimes called the buying centre. One person can play several roles, and a role can be shared. What matters is that you know who holds each one before you write a proposal.

In a small birthday party, one parent may hold all six roles. In a corporate gala, six different people might, and some of them will never speak to you directly.

How the roles look by event type

Weddings. The couple usually initiate and decide, but money changes the picture. When parents contribute a large share, they often become joint deciders, even if nobody says so. Friends who married recently are powerful influencers, because they have just been through it. Venue coordinators influence through the vendor lists they hand out.

Cultural and multi-day weddings. Elders, the officiant or a family member who has organized many weddings in the community can hold more influence than the couple on certain questions, such as the order of ceremonies, the menu or the music. Ask who has the final word on each part, not just on the whole.

Family celebrations. For a child’s birthday or a parent’s milestone party, the initiator is often one adult child and the payer is several siblings splitting the cost. That makes price questions slower and more political than they look.

Corporate events. An executive assistant or office manager often initiates and gatekeeps. An HR or marketing lead decides, and must justify the choice to a senior sponsor. Finance or procurement pays, with its own forms. The users are employees or clients, who never see your proposal but whose reaction decides whether you are rebooked.

Worked example: one inquiry, five people

Lantern & Lane received this inquiry: “Hi, my fiancé and I are getting married next September, about 180 guests, Hindu ceremony in the morning and a reception that evening. Can you send pricing?”

Marco’s old habit was to reply to the sender with a price list. Instead, his reply asked three questions: who else will be part of choosing a planner, who will look after the budget, and are there family members whose input on the ceremony matters most. The couple’s answers revealed five people.

• Initiator and co-decider: the bride, who sent the email.
• Co-decider: the groom, who cared most about the reception.
• Payer and strong influencer: the bride’s parents, covering about 60 percent of the budget.
• Influencer on the ceremony: the groom’s grandmother, who would judge whether the morning ran correctly.
• Influencer on vendors: the venue coordinator, who had suggested Lantern & Lane.

Marco changed three things. He invited the bride’s parents to the consultation call. He added a one-page ceremony timeline from a past two-ceremony wedding to the proposal, so the grandmother’s concerns were answered before she raised them. And he split the price into what the parents’ share would cover and what the couple’s share would cover, using the couple’s own numbers. The couple booked within a week.

The arithmetic of ignoring roles is harsh. If a proposal satisfies the sender but not the payer, the booking stalls. If Lantern & Lane sends about 90 proposals a year and four of them stall over a parent’s objection that a better proposal would have answered, that is four bookings at the studio’s $5,800 average, or $23,200 in planning fees, lost to people who were never addressed.

Finding the roles without being awkward

You cannot ask a couple to fill in an organization chart. You can ask natural questions early, and write the answers in your notes. These work in a first reply or a first call.

• “Who else will be part of choosing a [planner, caterer, photographer]?”
• “Is anyone helping with the budget, so I can make sure the proposal answers their questions too?”
• “Are there family members whose views on [the ceremony, the food, the music] matter most?”
• “Who suggested you get in touch with us?”
• For corporate inquiries: “Who will approve the final choice, and is there a vendor registration or purchase order process I should start now?”

Then use this template in your CRM or notes for every inquiry:

• Initiator:
• Decider or deciders:
• Payer:
• Key influencers, and what each one cares about:
• Gatekeeper or process:
• The biggest worry, and whose it is:

Marketing to roles, not just to people

Once you see the roles, your marketing changes beyond the single inquiry. Influencers need proof in places they look: a parent may read Google reviews and Facebook, while a couple scrolls Instagram. Payers need a pricing guide they can read without you in the room. Gatekeepers in corporate offices need a one-page vendor sheet with your insurance, your HST number and your payment terms. Deciders need the answer to their worst fear, which in weddings is usually a family conflict on the day and in corporate events is looking foolish in front of the boss.

Look at your website, your proposal and your follow-up emails. For each one, ask which role it was written for. Most vendors find everything is aimed at the initiator, and nothing at the payer or the influencer who will quietly decide.

In Canada and the GTA

Families decide together here. The GTA has a very large population of families with roots in South Asia, East Asia, the Caribbean, the Philippines, the Middle East, Portugal, Italy and many other places, and in many of those families an event is a shared project across generations. It is common for parents, grandparents, aunts or a respected family friend to shape choices about ceremonies, food and music, and for the cost to be shared. Do not assume this from a surname or a ceremony type. Ask the same open questions of every client, and let them tell you how their family works. A vendor who can brief a parent in their own language, or who understands the order of a ceremony without needing it explained, earns influence with exactly the people who often control the money.

Corporate buying is more formal than it looks. Toronto is home to many head offices, banks, insurers, agencies and public bodies, and their event purchases often run through vendor registration, a request for a certificate of insurance and a purchase order before any deposit. The executive assistant who emails you is frequently the gatekeeper to that process, not the decider. Make their job easy: a one-page vendor sheet with your legal business name, mailing address, GST/HST registration number if you have one, insurance details and payment terms will move you up their list. Under the CRA’s invoice rules, invoices of $500 or more must also show the buyer’s name, a brief description of the services and payment terms, so ask early who the invoice should be addressed to. It is often not the person who booked you.

Reaching the right role, legally

CASL and the decider. It is tempting to email the senior person directly once you know who decides. Be careful. CASL’s business-to-business exemption applies only when the two organizations already have a relationship and the message concerns the receiving organization’s activities. Without that, you need consent. A publicly posted business address can support implied consent under the conspicuous publication rule, but only if the posting does not say the person does not want messages and your message relates to their role. Pitching holiday party entertainment to an events or HR manager whose address is on the company site can qualify. Pitching the same thing to the chief technology officer does not. The safest route is through the person who contacted you: ask them to introduce you, or to forward your proposal. The CRTC’s guidance on implied consent explains both tests with examples.

Privacy and the people behind the inquiry. When you note that a bride’s parents are paying, or that a grandmother has concerns about the ceremony, you are recording personal information about people who never contacted you. PIPEDA applies to personal information collected in the course of commercial activity, and its principles ask you to limit collection to what you need for your identified purposes. Record what helps you serve the event, such as who pays and who has the final word on the ceremony, and leave out private family details that do not. Keep the notes secure and do not share them with other vendors without consent. The OPC’s PIPEDA overview lists the ten principles.

Consumers and companies. When an individual or a family books you, Ontario’s consumer protection law applies to the agreement, and under the Consumer Protection Act, 2002 any uncertainty in a consumer agreement is interpreted in the consumer’s favour. That is one more reason to make sure the payer, not just the initiator, understands exactly what the price includes before anyone signs.

This is general information, not legal advice. Check the official sources named here, or ask a lawyer, for your own situation.

Worksheet

Download the worksheet and complete it for your own business, using Lantern & Lane as the model where it helps. Keep it with your marketing plan. It takes about 10 minutes.

Download the worksheet (PDF)